Things has started to settle down again. Grandma is buried and the odd seizures has stopped. I guess it was just a stress reaction from my body. I have been thinking how I would like to start painting (again try to start it) and how I should clean up my working room so I would have space to make my wedding dress collection yet I everyday found myself just sitting and staring at the wall. I have tons of yard work to do but get about none of it done. (I move my bunny's cage every other day so she would eat the grass and I don't have to cut it) Depression sucks.
I have thought that after my friend is married and I don't have all the sewing and gift making anymore things will ease. I always think after something things will ease, they never do. They never will. I should switch my brains to a mode NOW IS THE EASE PART, chill and just do it. Don't overthink it. If I would work on the dresses 3-4 hours a day in two two hours period it wouldn't be too hard, right? I would have the rest of the day for wall staring but would still get shit done.
Maybe when I get my brains to the right point.